In My Closet- Dancing In My Thrifted Green Jeans At 31 Weeks Pregnant

The other night I was invited out for a friend's birthday.

This is a friend that I met at a dance class (belly dancing, to be exact) and many of our nights together have involved dancing up a storm or two.

When I let her hubby know I was on my way, he commented- "I hope you have your dancing shoes on."

"Ridiculous", I thought. I'm huge. I won't even be able to FIT on the dance floor. Haha.

So, off I went.

And I stood on the sidelines and watched them dance. And I wondered what was wrong with me.

So I danced. :)

Yes, I was awkward. Yes, I took up more room than usual. Yes, I wished the room could be darker...

But, all-in-all it was a good time. Of course I had to leave early because I was exhausted- but it was a good time all the same.

Here is the thrifted outfit that I wore out dancing at 31 weeks pregnant:

It really was too dark to get a good photo in front of my full-length  mirror in my room. :(

If you're wondering about all of the fingerprints on my mirror- I posted on those here.




Green Non-Maternity Jeans- Value Village $3 (posted on scoring those here)
Black Maternity Tank- Bought for first pregnancy 7 years ago.

 Clutch (on bed) & Bracelet- Talize $2.99  & Value Village $4.99

Black Boots- years old

I decided to take a couple photos in better lighting. Why is bathroom lighting always better?

I added a blazer(?)- type shirt on top of my tank. I add the question mark because I do not wear blazers. I find them too structured and uncomfortable and would MUCH rather grab a cardigan for warmth.

But I do like the look and feel of this...whatever it is....

Black Short-sleeved 'Blazer'- Cast off from friend, so FREE

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for stopping by.

Hope you will all try to do something out of your comfort zones some time, you just might have some fun. :)

Peace, friends.

Dirty Fingerprints Keeping Me Sane

I have a full length mirror in my bedroom. And it is covered with fingerprints.

You may be surprised to hear that they do not belong to my children.

And yet- I don't want to clean them away.

Yes, I have paper towels and rags. Yes, I have vinegar and water. I even have glass cleaner.

And yet- I don't want to clean them away.

Especially on my lowest days. Days when I feel like I can't possibly go on. Days when I don't know where I will find the strength to parent the two children that I already have- let alone the one to come in a couple of months.

Those are the days that I glance at my dirty, finger-printed mirror and feel peace.

Because this mirror acquired those finger prints when I recently moved into my new home. When my church and friends and family- and even strangers that I had never met- showed up at my apartment door and said 

"We will help".

"This is too much for you to do on your own."

"Let us lift and move and carry when you cannot."

This mirror acquired those fingerprints when a friend said "I will help organize your move, because everything is simply too overwhelming for you right now."

This mirror is covered with fingerprints. And I am thankful.

I am thankful for the friends that I have made over the years that came out to help my get my house ready to move into.

I am thankful for my closest friends that are better to me than I am sure I deserve. 

I am thankful for my church family that comes around me when I need it most. That I have a community that I know will pick me up when I fall. That I can trust would feed me if I were hungry. And that love me though I am far from perfect.

And, I am thankful because I know that when I am no longer feeling so low- that I will be able to be there for someone else. I will help pick them up when they stumble and fall. Because that is a community. That is a family.

And at that time, when the sun shines clearer in my life- I will wipe my mirror clean so that I can bask in it's warmth, light and beauty.

But for now, as the clouds loom over my head, those fingerprints will remain.

And that's okay. It's those dirty fingerprints that are keeping me sane.

Blessings.

For Baby- Needs and Nots

When you have a baby on the way- especially your first- it is very tempting to buy anything and everything on the market for your precious bundle.


You soon learn though, that you may not need- and baby may not like- everything that you purchase.


In my opinion, here is a list of things that are definite needs and things that you may not want to rush out and spend your money on.

Infant Car Seats: these are a definite must. And, something that you should purchase new (!!!)- UNLESS you have a friend that can loan you one. That way, you know FOR SURE that it hasn't been in an accident. Just remember to check the expiry date on the seat. Because of safety regulations, most infant car seats expire after 5 years. You will NOT be able to leave the hospital with baby in an expired car seat.






 Bassinets and Moses Baskets: to me- these are unnecessary. They are beautiful and adorable, but are very quickly outgrown and just add to clutter in your home. I opted for a playyard that had a bassinet option. This playyard (play pen) has been a bassinet for my 2 boys (as well as for this one due in April) and has been a bed (the bottom of the playyard), once the bassinet was too small- for around their first year. 

It was also used as a travel crib for sleepovers. And can be used as a change table when baby is small. In my opinion- this was a great investment.

Cribs and Bedding:  Cribs will eventually be a great bed for baby. BUT, you do not have to rush out and purchase the crib and all of the bedding before baby arrives.

Many people choose to have their baby "room in" with them (sleep in their room or even in their bed) for quite some time after the baby arrives. This is very helpful with middle-of-the-night feedings and helps with bonding with baby.


As far as bedding goes, you can find adorable, full crib sets- if you want to- on kijiji. Or, if you opt for a sleep sack instead of blankets (some studies show this decreases the chance of SIDS), and you can find plenty of those on kijiji, as well. If you are nervous to buy bedding second hand- just store in a freezer for a couple of weeks after (kills any potential bed bugs or anything else)- then wash in hot water.

Baby clothes: People just LOVE buying baby clothes. So, my advice is to not buy much. You WILL be given baby clothes. You WILL find that your baby may wear things once (or not at all!!) before he/she outgrows it. You also may find that your baby lives in nothing but sleepers for months. :)

Great places to check for baby clothes are kijiji (people often sell boxes full of clothing at deep discounts), Once Upon A Child- for quality consignment clothing, or any thrift shop in your area. Babies are in their outfits for such a short time that they are usually in great condition- as long as they have been ruined with spit-up, puke or poop.

Other great places for baby clothes are your friends or friends of friends. You can usually find people willing to unload their baby's clothing for free- just to make some space in their homes for a short time (until next baby), or for good.

Extras: I consider extras to be things that are nice to have, but not absolutely necessary. Things like bottles and soothers- baby may not take either. It is best to purchase one or two and see if baby will take them. Such items are easily sterilized, so if you'd like- buy second-hand.




Swings- you may not believe it, but some babies do not like the swing. It is best to borrow this from someone to see if your infant like it or not. If it is a favourite- buy away! Obviously I am going to recommend kijiji or Once Upon A Child, if you do choose to buy.

Bouncy chairs- both of my kids LOVED theirs. I think these are a great item to get because they do not take up a lot of room (like a swing), and it is a favourite for most babies. You can find these chairs second-hand on kijiji or Once Upon A Child, as well. 

Bumbo Chairs- these adorable, durable chairs can be great, but neither of my boys liked theirs very much. As well, it is meant to be used once baby can sit up (around 4 months), but by then, some baby's thighs are too chubby to fit in the leg holes. Also, they are NOT cheap. But, if you do want one, try to borrow one or check kijiji or Once Upon A Child.

Baby wraps and slings: These were a hit in my home. Both of my boys enjoyed the closeness of being strapped to me, and I enjoyed having 2 arms to do things with.

Wraps can be borrowed, bought second- hand or made yourself. There are TONS of tutorials like this one on making your own baby wrap.

Slings are trickier. These have to fit perfectly so baby is snug and safe. They need to be measured from your shoulder to your hip bone. In this way- it is tough to borrow one, unless you are the exact same height/weight as someone else you know. BUT, you can make one yourself with some basic sewing skills. Check out this tutorial or look for others on YouTube.

Diapers and wipes: obviously, these are a HUGE necessity. But there are options between cloth or disposable diapers, and you can choose to use washcloths instead of disposable wipes. Just be honest with yourself about how much extra laundry you are willing to take on (including soaking, drying, folding). There is also the option of using a cloth diaper service in most areas. This is great for people that aren't necessarily  looking to save money, but still want to lessen the impact of disposable diapers on the environment. With my first, I did cloth diapers and washcloths about 50% of the time. Less with my second. I have no idea what will happen with the new baby. 

Whatever you choose, be easy on yourself. Being a new Mom is difficult enough without beating yourself up about whether you love using cloth diapers or not.

Lastly, I will talk about Change Tables: These are something that you are told you definitely NEED for your baby. I can tell you that for baby #1, I rarely walked up the stairs to use ours and never even had one for baby #2. I mostly changed my babies on a couch or a floor. As long as you put a blanket down for baby (and your friend's couch!), everyone is happy.

If you do decide to buy, check out kijiji, for sure. Or, ask some friends if they have one to get rid of.

After my first child was out of diapers, we used our change table as a shelving unit for toys. You can find lots of repurposing ideas for change tables on Pinterest.

I do hope that any new Mom's out there find my list helpful.


What about seasoned Moms out there? Where there any items that you felt you desperately needed for baby, but never really used?


Oh- and you can check out a post I did previously on repurposing ideas for cribs and change tables once baby is done with them here.





Blessings.

Repurposing Old Shutters

Well, I did it. I moved into my very own home. With a lot of help of course.

Things are coming along. Slowly.

Items are finding their place. And some are not.

One item that I loved in my old place was a repurposed shutter. I used it as a bulletin board.

But the previous owners of my new home left a cork board, so I decided to use that instead.

And so, I am searching for a new purpose for my beloved shutter.

I thought that I would share some of the great ideas for old shutters that I came across in my search. On Pinterest- obviously. 

Use 2 smaller shutters to make a cute shelf. Just add some decorative brackets. 

Shutters are perfect for holding your favourite earrings. 

What a great idea! Just add some letters to make any word that has meaning for you.

Love this beautiful bathroom storage idea. 

Using 2 shutters and adding some triangle shelving makes a unique and useful corner shelf.

Now I wish that I had 4 shutters lying around! I just LOVE this side table idea!!

So easy and lovely- simply paint some shutters in a bold colour and use them as decorative accents.

Pretty and useful. Store your magazines or cookbooks on some old shutters.

Great idea for repurposing old shutters into a rolling kitchen island.







And here is what I will likely do with MY shutter. I will be using it for a coat rack at my back door. I will be on the hunt for some rustic hooks or doorknobs for this project.

Thanks for stopping by!

Hope you enjoyed this post, friends. Anyone going to use any of these ideas?? 

 I apologize for being MIA through my packing, working, and moving process.... I hope to post again soon.

Blessings.

In My Closet- A Perfect Black Maternity Dress

Holiday time is gone for now, but I thought that I would share one of my favourite scores to wear for the holiday parties- and also for into the spring (I hope).

I picked up this black maternity Maxi Dress at the last Value Village 50% off sale. It was regularly $6.99 so I snapped it up for $3.50!

It is perfect for work, after-work, parties and it is SO comfortable.

Here I am wearing it at a friend's Christmas Party.

Black Maxi- $3.99 at Value Village

Animal Print Sweater- Had in my closet forever (also seen here and here)

Belt- Had forever

Sidenote: WOW, pregnancy really DOES make your hair thick!

Basically, I am hoping that maxi dresses and skirts NEVER go out of style, since they are my favourite thing to wear. All year long. And are PERFECT for pregnancy.

Happy thrifting!

Considering The Adoption Option- Self-LESS or Self-ISH?

Lately I have been thinking more and more about the adoption option for this baby.

I'm trying to decide if it as a selfish choice- in that I am taking the 'easy way out'- or if it would be a selfless choice.

I suppose, in the end, it would be a little from each column.

I lie awake and wonder if this baby was given to me in order to bless another family that is desperately waiting for a child.

Maybe this baby was given to me- specifically me- because I have BEEN THERE. I can vividly remember how it felt to ache inside for a child to mother. How it felt to endure not only the intrusive and invasive tests while living through IVF, but also coping with the just-as-invasive questions while I completed my Home Study for adoption.

I can remember how incredibly devastating it was to see everyone around me getting pregnant and having babies, when ALL I WANTED IN LIFE was to experience the same for myself.

Is this baby the answer to the question that I asked over and over and over again during that dark time in my life- "WHY???" 

"WHY do I have to go through this?"

"WHY- when I BELIEVE that I would be a good mother to a child??"

Did I live through that darkness years ago simply in order to better understand the situation that I am living through now??

Perhaps.



Or, perhaps this baby was given to me- specifically me- BECAUSE I yearned so badly and for so long to be a mother. Because I made it through. Because I persevered. A 'reward', or something.... I don't think life works that way, though...




All I know is that my 6-year-old already ADORES this baby. He has given the baby a name and says 'goodnight' to him every night.




And for THAT reason, my seemingly (to me) selfish adoption option gets tabled again.




In SO many ways, I would LOVE to bless a family with this dear life growing inside of me. In SO many ways, I would like to go about my life the way that it has been for the last few years. 




I can handle my two boys. I have two eyes to watch them with. I have two hands that can hold theirs. I have two arms that can wrap around them. I have two lips that can cover them with kisses. 





But then, a large part of me is hoping that one more will just add to the joy of our little family. After all, I have one heart, but it loves many. I have one womb, but it has formed three lives. I have one mind, but it has the power to make momentous decisions- like this one that I face over these next few months.... 





To be Self-less? To be Self-fish? 


To bless others? To add to my own family?



Whatever choice is made, this baby will be a blessing. This baby will be loved. He will be treasured.




And I suppose- for now- I can rest in that truth. And leave the options for another day....

Feeling Like The Big Engine That Couldn't

It really is amazing to me how one little thing can seem to trigger a mountain of emotions to suddenly pour out.

I brought my car in today to patch one of my tires and ended up needing to replace 2 tires and fix my alignment.

As annoying, and unfortunately more expensive than I was planning the visit to the mechanic's to be, it did NOT warrant the meltdown that I had in the waiting area. Well, silent meltdown.

Fortunately, my back was to everyone coming into the shop and also to the guy working at the counter. When he finally realized that I was sobbing he was very sweet and said that I was going to make HIM cry.

He asked "what's wrong".

I couldn't think of anything to say without pouring out say.....the last 3 or 4 years of my life...so I just shook my head and cried more. And I promised him that I will be fine.

And that is the truth. I will be fine.

(little peanut due in April)

But today, I just feel like 'The Big Engine That Couldn't'.

Today, I feel like I can't possibly continue to work at my 2 jobs. I'm too tired. My hips hurt. My back hurts. It's too hard to co-ordinate babysitting....

I can't.

Today, I feel like I can't possibly go back to having an infant. The sleepless nights, weeks, months. The nursing, the crying, the colic....

I can't.

Today, I feel like I can't possibly have enough love in me to give to 3 children. Enough patience. Enough energy. Enough resources.....

I can't.

I just can't possibly, CAN'T POSSIBLY believe that I can do this on my own.

I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't.

But, somewhere in there- deep down- I know that I can.

Somewhere deep down, I know that I have the strength.

And although I have always been strong, over the course of the last few years I have found strength that I never realized that I had.

I have found strength in faith.

I have found strength in being weak.

I have found strength in being vulnerable.

I have found strength in letting my tears fall.

And so, now that my tears have fallen, tomorrow I will start a new day. And I will be strong. For me. For my boys.

Feeling alone, but very loved.

Feeling depleted, but still breathing.

Feeling hopeless, but somehow connected to something greater than me.

And I will open my eyes to the new day and say 

"I can".

Blessings.